Growing up with depression, or any mental issue for that matter, sucks for so many reasons; apart from the obvious. I frankly do not know how its like to live without anxiety or a dread to simply exist. Maybe the fact my circumstances aren't the best doesnt help, but it'll be a part of my life forever. 

Its similar to my eating disorder in a way. Even if im healthy now, whatever that means, I still have a weird relationship with food. I will always wish I could just go by without ever eating again. Or maybe just take a pill everyday that will suit all my nutritional needs without all the worry of food. I do miss how, before everything food was just an object, maybe even a fun thing, but to me, oreos will forever just mean ~50 calories.